How to smoothly transition through Autumn & Winter by letting go
Whether you relish in the all-around intensity that is a sun-kissed hot girl Summer or count down the days until you're cozily sipping PSL's with stew in the crockpot in your bog witch Autumn— there's no denying that the dark half of the year brings unique challenges for us all.
Just as the moon has a dark phase each month— as the Third Quarter moon wanes down to the dark New moon then waxes to the First Quarter moon— this half of the month the fraction of the moon that is visible to us is less than half full...
If we blow this up on a larger scale, we can see that the entire year has a similar dark phase as well— from the Autumn Equinox waning down to the longest night of the year on the Winter Solstice, then waxing to the Spring Equinox when we reach equilibrium again.
During the waning phase of the moon — from the day the Moon is full until the day she is new— she is growing incrementally smaller day by day, turning her energy inward to her shadow side that goes unseen.
This waning moon energy aligns beautifully with the energy of Autumn. If Winter represents the new moon, a time of introspection and planning, and Spring represents the awakening and growth of nature, then late Autumn is the peak of this waning season of releasing what did not serve us throughout the year.
Just as the waning moon retreats into her darker shadow self and plants shed their leaves and pull their energy down into their roots, we, too, can turn our energy inward to release and/or re-work patterns that no longer serve us.
These patterns can show up in our thoughts, habits, routines, relationships (including friendships and family, not just romantic partnerships), careers, etc. What are you trying to kick? Which leaves will you shed for the winter?
We’ve had our Summer of activities and adventures. So much so that many of us may have reached a point of burn-out or exhaustion from all the extroverted energy. But before we turn into hermits for the winter, we can use this time to reset and move into the New Moon this Winter without that baggage.
So let's use our self-care rituals this time of year to reflect and let go of what hasn't served us up until now, and proclaim our gratitude and self-love by nurturing both ourselves and the spaces we hold dear.
Depending on your particular tradition, there are many different ways you can let go during the waning phase of the year. Here are a few options (you might consider performing just one or all of them):
1. Take a Ritual Bath
Bring any water-safe crystals or candles you prefer to place on the edges.
Sip a cup of tea, wine, or mocktail (adding some bitter herbs will be especially grounding and assist with digesting, both physically and energetically to break down what you are trying to eliminate).
Close your eyes, breathe deeply. Place one hand on your heart & one on your stomach.
Reflect on what it is you wish to release:
An ended relationship? A self-destructive habit? A negative thought pattern?
(If it's in your practice, you might opt to use your pendulum or tarot cards for this)
2. Cleanse your space
You might wish to:
Burn Incense
Ring chimes or bells
Burn smoke cleansing herbs such as Self Love Burn Blend, Protection Burn Blend, or a smolder wand (rosemary and common garden sage are great ethical options. Avoid white sage unless you are indigenous to Turtle Island and it is in your sacred cultural practice [see below for more])
Warm a simmer pot of herbs such as cinnamon, rosemary, ginger, common sage, mint, oregano, thyme, pine needles, etc.
Mist any of the following that are most available to you, either store-bought or homemade: Herb-infused white vinegar, Hydrosols, Herbal Tinctures, Herb-infused oil, or Blessing oil
3. Perform a Cord Cutting Ritual
You will need:
-a long piece of string, twine, jute, or yarn (at least 12")
-two small chime candles—one black and one white if possible
-a ceramic or glass dish or plate
-Sea salt or homemade herb-infused salt (if available)
-a fireproof container
-a fireproof surface away from any curtains or other flammable materials
Ground yourself by taking a few deep breaths and bringing yourself to be present.
Cast a circle if it is in your practice.
Tie the ends of the twine together (making a circle) and stretch it around each chime candle (let a black candle represent what it is you are releasing and a white candle represent yourself.)
Use melted wax to stick the bottom of the candles to a ceramic or glass plate. Place them so the twine is taut.
Enclose each candle in a circle of salt. (You may also opt to stand the candles upright in two small bowls of salt if its easier than sticking them with melted wax)
Light the candles, then close your eyes, breathe deeply, and attune to what you are releasing. Try to come into a place of compassion & gratitude, as much as possible.
Say out loud:
“Thank you for the lessons learned. This portion of our journey is now complete.
I release you from my energy field now, never to return.”
If you wish, you may burn a photo or a piece of paper with whatever it is you are releasing written on it using the flame from the black candle, and drop it in a fireproof container.
Mix the ashes with the salt.
Let the candles burn until the twine catches fire. Allow the twine to burn all the way over to each candle.
Say out loud:
“I now release the ties that bind. I now claim that which is mine. Blessed be, and so it is.”
Close your eyes and visualize your energy being returned to you, and breaking the connection.
Allow the candles to burn down completely- when they go out, the ritual space is sealed.
Remove whatever wax is left and discard it.
Pour the salt & any ashes into the nearest water source- the river, ocean, or yes, even your toilet bowl will work! Just don’t mix it into the Earth.
You can say one final blessing here:
“Spirit of the water, please accept and wash away any remaining energy from this connection. I release it from whence it came. Thank you.”
Wash your hands, and don’t forget to close your circle if it’s in your practice.
Giving ourselves permission to pause, reflect, and let go in the dark half of the year can be incredibly freeing.
Pushing against the current of nature's seasons, on the other hand— while very much a common and accepted part of living in a capitalist society— can cause angst, stress, overwhelm, and eventual burnout. If you're feeling exhausted right now even though your to-do list hasn't gotten any shorter as you look ahead at the holiday season: that's understandable.
Take this time in Autumn to pause, reflect on the year so far, and let go of what isn't bringing you joy.
If you'd like to learn more about this release process so that you can create space for inviting abundance— you can do so in three different spaces:
Click on any of the links above for more information and enrollment
—Jovie
What is Smoke Cleansing?
Have you ever walked into a space or spent time with a person and it just felt... off? You might suddenly feel unsettled, irritated, nervous, or on edge for no apparent reason? Barring any personal biases you may have (phobias, aversion to certain smells/colors/decor, internalized racism or misogyny) or legitimate safety concerns with the space or the person (mold, medical issues, history of trauma, etc) it may be that the energy of this space or even this person could benefit from smoke cleansing.
Smoke cleansing comes from ancient traditions of working with energy. In burning certain herbs, the powerful energy of fire combusting the herbs into smoke is thought to unleash the potent healing energy of the plant in order to mobilize or neutralize stagnant and negative energies, respectively.
This can be the energy in a place (such as a home, an office, or a space someone has just moved into or out of) or the energy surrounding a person (be it thoughts, emotions, or what some traditions would call "bad juju" or "evil eye"). It can even be done on yourself after being around a negative person or space (since we can't just non-consensually walk up to someone's body or space and just start cleansing it for them!)
Smoke cleansing can be done whenever you feel is needed, but can be particularly effective during transitional times of the year such as Imbolc (Midwinter, Feb 1st) and Samhain (Nov 1st), or during any Waning Moon or New Moon phase of the month.
It is best to smoke cleanse with full awareness and in a slow, mindful manner. It is important to understand that smoke cleansing is not the same as Smudging, which is an ancient and sacred ceremony that is closed to those who are not a part of the culture. While smoke cleansing has been used across countless spiritual traditions, there is plenty of opportunity for appropriation of native culture in its practice. It’s important to not adopt customs that aren’t passed down to you from your ancestry, burn White Sage, or use the term “smudging” if you are not indigenous to North America.
Hopefully this gives you a few ideas for how to be a bit more forgiving of yourself through this often challenging seasonal transition.
Cleansing our spaces can give us something to look forward to: that peace of mind and lightness we feel when we can enjoy our spaces without feeling bogged down by the heavy energies of both belongings and energies that are no longer serving us.
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